Tuesday 10 February 2015

Grrr - another British institution bites the dust.

On an already gloomy day, I was distressed when I heard that Kraft (who bought out Cadbury’s under dubious circumstances and who, in turn, have been subsumed into Mondelēz International) have been rather krafty and changed the chocolate on Cadbury's Creme Eggs. No longer does thick Dairy Milk surround the sweet, gooey filling but, by common consent, it's been replaced by a cheap, thin chocolate shell that tastes as sugary as its filling.

I decided that I really had no right to damn these new ova without actually trying them and it took all of 5 microseconds to persuade myself to buy one in the interests of fairness. Ok, a box would be even fairer. And that revealed more treachery: it’s now a box of 5 rather than 6. Robbed of an egg before I’m even off the chomping blocks. But, despite this, I mentally prepared myself to push aside my prejudices and judge the egg for what it is. I closed my eyes, bit off the top and…..…I was NOT happy.

I’m not convinced the inside hasn’t been changed a bit too, but the chocolate is now a darker colour, thin and really sweet. The old chocolate was thick – sometimes it was an almighty effort to bite through it, especially if it was chilled. It was milky and cloying, which balanced the oozing, sugary filling and every mouthful was a mission of pleasure to complete. The new egg lacks texture, taste and I would like to know who thought they could change a Great British Institution and get away with it. Oh, that sounds a bit UKIP-y but you know what I mean. Generations have grown up with the uniqueness of Creme Eggs and their limited annual release simply made them more desirable. Just like the arrival of the first snowdrop in Spring, the first swallow in Summer, it was a talking point: "Creme Eggs are back in the shops!”. They were a guilty secret to be scoffed (sometimes whole; sometimes 6 at a time - simultaneously - whole) and savoured.

Now, I realise that this is very much a ‘first world problem’ and in relation to the horrors of the news headlines, bastardising Creme Eggs is, perhaps, not such a big deal. Except it is. Change it back, please, Kraft. Because there’s a significant part of the nation that won’t be buying them any more until you do. Are we really going to swallow this bad egg, people? For that is what Cadbury has wrought upon us. A bad egg.  And it's not even good in parts, like the curate's egg in the famous Punch cartoon
* For any readers in the USA, the new taste reminds me very much of the 'chocolate' in Hershey Bars. I'm sorry, you make many fine things but chocolate isn't one of them.
 

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